I Won & I Saw the Light

Wow, what the hell just happened!

I got ready for streaming, set everything up nice and neatly. Went live, said the hello’s and started spinning the reels. One slot after another, all shit. A familiar sense of disgust comes over me. I’ve been here before. Streams when nothing will hit. No bonuses, not a goddamn thing. I play game after game after game but no action whatsoever.

I try to stay positive while reminding myself that this streaming thing is all about entertainment, it’s a social interaction between me and the viewers – come on kitty cat be a good host. But I hear myself whine and moan. At this point I’m genuinely hating slots. I feel like throwing the monitor out of the window. I know they probably think I’m a drama queen but it’s real. What I’m feeling is pure hate towards slots.

But my people stand by my side, they cheer me on. Camilla is there from start to finish to witness the massaker and trazke is trying to put on a brave face yet I see him getting more and more quiet. I break out in sweats. I’m a terrible streamer, I can’t do this anymore, I’m getting nowhere with streaming…I bash myself inside my head, glad the viewers can’t read my thoughts.

I get one bonus finally…Dead or Alive…this game, this game…if any game can do this it’s Dead or Alive. I sense some excitement in the chat. Or maybe they’re just feeling sorry for me. I can’t really tell, but here we go.

Moments later the smoke has cleared. I’m left standing with a 4,8x win feeling like an idiot. I keep spinning the reels until I can’t afford to spin them anymore. The screen finally says “out of balance“. Wow, I’m looking at the clock. 45 minutes of streaming and 1 bonus. With a feeling of emptiness I say goodbye and turn off the stream.

Then I just sit there.

But suddenly I rise from the ashes and run to the living room. I have just discovered that I’ve been sent affiliate earnings from a casino. It’s not much but enough for a deposit. It’s money I can afford to lose.

I’m not feeling positive though as I try my luck of Magic Mirror.

The game feels kind of alright. I win some, I lose some. And then all of the sudden I get a bonus! I can’t believe my eyes. I struggled the whole stream getting fuck all and here I am, just a few moments into my off stream session and I got a bonus on a freaking Merkur slot.

I’m awarded the top symbol. Oh shit, I know it’s gonna be rip. It’s always the case when you get the top symbol. But…

I don’t even have time to understand what just happened. I mean, Merkur doesn’t bullshit with ridiculous celebrations and stuff. I’m just handed 10k and I look at my wife and I go “holy crap Marina I just won fucking 10k.” She looks at me and I know she’s probably thinking thank God, now I don’t have to listen to him whine for 2 days.

The rest of the session is just magical and not too long after I hit this:

Now I can taste the blood and I go on a hunt for more. I bash the living fuck out of the slots, I take out my revenge on them. Fuck you, you bastards I scream inside my head as I aggressively spin the reels. This is for all the embarrassing zero bonus rips you let me suffer through on stream.

I realize I go a bit too crazy doing 30-50 sek bets on Merkur, Novos and Microgaming but when I take a final look at the wagering meter I see 100% completed and a 20k balance.

I’m exhausted. I’m happy. I’m confused. I want to celebrate with someone, but the wife and kids have fallen asleep. I suddenly come to my senses. I realize I might have won on the slots, but I lost a friday night with my dear family.

Remember what really matters in life.



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